Termite and Vine House
Home for LosT Girls and Boys
Renovations ~ Rats
07-05-19

TERMITE RENOVATIONS






THIS is just a reference for my personal use to document improvements to my house. the office of the city code inspector is demanding that i prove i am renovating the place. RIGHT NOW IN THE CITY OF MORTVILLE the city has dispatched a team of code inspectore to bug everybuddy. THE GOOD NEIGHBOURS PROGRAM is a bullshit bylaw that states that since the great flood, all houses must be up to code 256 which says that your property must be - cleaned out - gutted out - with secured windows and doors - and a maintained yard. the city also has recently invented code 267 which adds ...OR THE CITY WILL REPOSSESS YOUR HOUSE.... right now in morteville the goverment is flustered as they are trying to repossess as many homes as possible cuz they promised property to 24 different property developers. the property developers, who range in size from small family buisnessess to large corporations, are pissed off cuz their property gifts are not coming to them with clear title. often the developers are finding that theyve been given houses with weird tied up liens and obtuse title disputes. in other cases developers are finding that they are being given useless peices of property that exist under the expressway on ramp. one developer was given a lot that was 2x12 feet (they didnt want it but i do. i could totally build a house there) the home owners are also pissed off as many of them only found out their building were repossessed when the property developers started trying to secure their titles. over %20 or properties the city gave to developers were taken back by their former owners whrn they were contacted by the developers. to take back their property the old owners had to settle outstanding taxes. the city is pissed cuz the total back tax revenue for the 490 properties taken back by there former owners was only one million dollars. a small fraction of the projected revenue from their deal with developers. ---------------- right now termite has YELLOW status, meaning our house is subject to a final inspection before we mandatorilly have to go to court to prove were fixing the place. our sibbling squat, APPARATUS, just got their PINK paper, meaning court appearence. APPARATUS just finished a super clean up campaign of painting the entire house, landscaping the yard, and putting up a nice new fence. they are now in the process of taking all their furniture outside and photographing their house empty as an attempt to appease the code inspector. TERMITE is still a condemned hell hole compared to their place, but i ve been in the code inspectors office a half dozen times this week untill his secretary knows me. i left him a dozen voice mails and wrote him letters. i also chased down a city employee delivering PINK papers to houses on my street... he said that if TERMITE was on his list that hed flag us as clean. but in the meantime i should present a package of renovation pics to the nice people at the code office. if we can clear the code hurdle then TERMITE is one step closer to safe secure happiness !!! and its one more thing we can tease APPARATUS about cuz they are nice together kids with jobs and a clean house, and we are lollyfuck scumbags in a garbage pile but we have elctricty and water and a chance at getting our houses title and we just got a REAL WORKING FLUSH TOILET !!!! APPARATUS STILL POOP IN A BUCKET IN THE DARK WHICH IS SO 2005.

new developements at
the home for
lost
girls and boys





IF YOU EVER DECIDE THAT MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE A LONG TERM SQUAT CORPOREAL POSSESSION RESIDENCE, second mandatory thing to do (number one is a title chain) is get a fucking building permit mine cost $60. and it permits me to do anything i want except change the house foundation or roofline... and i could prolly get away with doing either of those now that i have this. no one can ever get me on illegal renovations or issue me a stop work citation now.. i can renovate the shit out of my place. i can install a laboratory and a ferris wheel if i wanna cuz i got the permit.

tie for second place is filing documents with the assessors office, which is what that other crap glued to my house is.


this is a mandatory picture of my mandatory sign that says i intend to squat this house. i need to show this to a lawyer in 2011 when i try to "quiet title"



funny paint job




mandatory documentation proving my sign is in a prominant possition



we all agreed that when renovating the house we must not hurt the vines. the vines are family... we all must make sacrifices tho and so we agreed, tearfully, to trim back the layers of mostly long dead vines that choked up our front porch.





here is the giant vine blob we peeled off the porch ceiling. the 6foot by 28 foot rectangle was cut in to 2 peices. the larger of which was taken out back and made in to a gigantic wiker compost bin. the smaller 6x6 peice is a vine tapestry that is to be hung on the wall in the no-floor room.


thanks to radio jayk from 5lowershop labs for fixing the bathtub. even tho he did it in the junkiest way possible, eschewing my collection of ABS tubing for something involving the hose off a shop vacuum and a funnel and a coffee can.



like the end of the SHITTING IN A BUCKET ERA so also must end the era of GREY WATER BUCKET FLUSH. Grey water was a nice ecological experiment, but when we had 20 traveller kids living in the house for carnival time, we also had a non stop revolting grey water flood in the bathroom 3 times a day ceaselessly pouring in to the already rotten walls. plus: we have to pass a building inspection next spring.

shown here are allison and jasha converting our place in to a bourgeois pee and poo den were even the princessiest yuppies could defecate in comfort. yes, our toilet now flushes away our waste with over 2 gallons of clean water (in morteville that means it prolly cancerous but that the city filtered it untill it was at least kind of see through) and then you can wash you hand if you like that kind of thing and the water used then goes down this U trap that collects any lost diamond rings and hair balls and then it all flows out in to the mississippisssippi which is so toxic and nasty that every superfluous flush of the toilet can only make it a little bit nicer.

termite and vines toilet and nature, working together for the future of the baby animals.






CYBERTRON POOP NOODLE OF THE 21st CENTURY APOCALYPTICORE !!!!




WHILE whisky and ollie were gutting out the secret mystery appartment caves in the secret mystery bowels of termite we found lots of surprises. cheifly amognst theese was that TERMITE AND VINE IS A FLYING HOUSE. we have no intact structural walls on the first floor. nothing is holding the house up. there are still at least 2 active live termite colonies down there and you can sit there in the quite night and hear the load bearing walls and floor joists being devoured. our only hope to pass the certificate of occupancy inspection in february is going to be our $6 can of anti termite foam we had budget for, and lots of paper mache.

i'm also am experimenting replacing missing walls with theese things i make out of stolen parts of a pier... pics soon !!!

another thing i founf was that the rear most middle sill (the 6x6 wooden beam that holds up the middle of the back of the house) was completely destroyed... i was smashing up its rotten crapitude with a shovel cursing the termites when i discovered it wasnt eaten by termites but by RATS !!! i drove my shovel right in to a rat nest sending half a dozen baby rats scurrying out... and we caught one and named her baby cybertron poop noodle of the 21st century apocalypticore !!!! . she likes to cling to peoples hair and ride arround in my hat and she doesnt eat or drink but she sure can pee and poo.


im going to wrap a syringe full of powdered milk in a dead rat skin and try to nurse her cuz shes of the species that they are capable of growing in size to about 5 pounds and over a foot in length not including tail. how bad do i need a rat the size of a cat ??? we'll be travelling together all summer wether she dies of starvation or not.








as a side note... i freaked out the other day that theese renovations are so epic and the code enforcers are arbitrailly unreasonable and termite is a sinking ship... and i freaked out and refused to get out of bed and just sat there petting cybertronpoopnoodleratofthetwentyfirstcenturyapocalypticore who refuses to eat, when suddenly she escaped in to the couch and i freaked out and cut a big chunk of the couch off with a steak knife and then smashed the arm up with a hammer and she was ok but really frightened for some reason.

and then i was like " oh baby cybertron poop noodle rat ofd the twentifirst century apocalyptiocore !!! all you do is hide in peoples hair and get tangled up and poop and not eat. you lead such a simple pure life... i cant get all tripped out about my catastrophy of a house.. after all i have happy friends, the code inspectore will prolly pass us cuz cheif inspector norris butler, is sick of me stalking him at his office on the 11th floor of 1340 poydras st, and my house is magical and since we painted it it kinda looks like a legitimate house from the outside."

so i should chill out, worry about schmoozing with the authorities more than actually meeting their etheral demands, and blow off work to go ride my bike with a bay rat in my fanny pack and get free turkey slices at the lawyers place while i update my termite and vine blog.



TERMITE AND VINE RENOVATIONS SCRAP BOOK


THE SECRET BASEMENT APPARTMENT DEEP IN THE COLON OF THE HOUSE. now accessible, free of debris, an two lightbulbs !!!

near term plans are to make this the traveller kid lolly fuck pitt. all travellewrs will be thrown in here to sleep on fight club style bunk beds and eat rats !!!!

future plans are that wee give it a coat of paint and rent it out to foreign exchange students for $1600 a month and use the money to pay off termites taxes and buy alchol and meat and THE TERMITE AND VINE MOBILE. WHICH WILL BE A BIG FIBERGLASS TERMITE ON A CAMERO CHASSIS.

EXTERNAL BEFORE

http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00439.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00440.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00488.jpg




External after

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno209.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno195.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno193.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno192.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno190.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno187.jpg


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BASEMENT BEFORE

http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00441.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00442.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/termite43.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/termite80.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/termite82.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/termite97.jpg

BASEMENT AFTER
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00463.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00466.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/termite36.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno197.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno196.jpg



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PLUMBING (BATHROOMS)BEFORE
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00448.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00465.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/termite83.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/pooop233.jpg

PLUMBING (BATHROOMS) AFTER

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno204.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno207.jpg
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/shittydelight/termite05-007/007reno208.jpg
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STRUCTURAL (TERMITE) DAMAGE BEFORE
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00452.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00453.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00470.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/termite89.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/toilet128.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/toilet129.jpg

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WINDOWS BEFORE
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00456.jpg



FLOOR BEFORE
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/IMG00458.jpg



OLIVER'S ROOM

http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/img00114.jpg
http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/termite94.jpg

SOUP AND CHRIS'S ROOM

http://sicknessandfilth.com/squat/termite/img00120.jpg


Part 2
"The Great North Amerikan Squatocracy"